Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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