In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
