Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
