I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
