I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
My ATM looks so different sober.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
