we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
