Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize