Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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