I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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