And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
