you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
