I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
