your room smells of hookers.
And success
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
