Welp...herpes.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It's rum buckets o'clock
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
