4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
