So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
