Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
3pm strippers are depressing
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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