Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
This is the high leading the old right now
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
