maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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