Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I think weed is turning my hair brown
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
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