I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
