Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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