Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
