cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
