Buhtt sex?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I pour the whiskey from now on
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
