So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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