Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Randomize