rhymes with "ouble enetration"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
