Church boner. Awkwardddd
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
