i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
