A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I've blown a few things in my day
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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