She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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