I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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