Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
