I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
It's Friday. Sex?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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