now i know why i became what i already was.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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