its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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