Someone shit on the floor
I skipped work to stalk him.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
