If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
