Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
