dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
