he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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