Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
