I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
She's JV to your varsity
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
