Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
