Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
