Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
