I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
