Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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