Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
