just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
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But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
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I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.