I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
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so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
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Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He just brought a live lobster to the party.