i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?