then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.