it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
