i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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