i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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