This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
