Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize