wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We left an ass print on the piano.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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