sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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