i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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