I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
