No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
