I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
